Is that a Mole Rat in Your Pocket, or
by whitem
Summary: Second half to More than a Handful, or Who's the Real Boob?  Once again, rated T for innuendo.  Just another oneshot


Some of you asked for it, so I decided to write it. This is the second half to "More Than a Handful, or Who's the Real Boob?" Thanks to all who read and reviewed that story…

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters Kim Possible and Ron Stoppable. They are the brain-children of a great set of writers at Disney. (No Mole Rats were harmed during the writing of this story)

Warning: There may a "bit" of innuendo in this work of fan-fiction, so be careful when reading…

Is that a Mole Rat in Your Pocket, or…

It had been a little over 2 weeks since Kim played that dirty trick on Ron, making him think that she had gotten a boob job. Kim had basically forgotten all about it, since she had made her… point.

Now the two of them had just finished up a mission where they had to chase down Dementor in Italy. Unfortunately (OK, maybe not so unfortunate), Wade wasn't able to get them a ride back to the states for another day and a half. As a result, a high ranking Italian official offered them a nights stay in one of the many hotels on an exclusive beach.

"San Vito lo Capo." He said. "Are you interested Miss Possible? It is the least we can do since you saved one of our most cherished land marks, the Castle Copertino."

"No Big…" Kim said, and then she had a sudden thought. "Wait… we weren't even near Puglia this time."

"Oh no, no, no, Miss Possible. It was one of those cursed 'Diablo Robot' things that almost destroyed it. I would just like to repay you. Please, accept this as a Thank-you from the Italian Government."

"Well… If you insist." Kim said, thinking about lounging on an Italian beach on the island of Sicily. "Ron?"

"Oh yeah… The Ronster is all about the Italian Icey…" Kim just shook her head, remembering that Ron had always fallen asleep in history class. That was one thing about her boyfriend she could never understand. How could he not be interested in such amazing history? Especially about a place that was so beautiful.

The two were escorted to a lavish hotel near the beach, and were checked in with no problem. That evening Kim and Ron were treated to a huge dinner of Italian dishes native to the area.

Later that evening they were walking along the beach underneath a full sky of stars, and an equally full moon. After walking for a few minutes with the moon reflecting off the ocean to their left, Ron let go of Kim's hand, and turned to his right. He was looking down near his pocket, as if he was checking for Rufus.

"Ron? What are you doing? We left Rufus in the hotel room, remember? He fell asleep after eating almost all of the left over Lasagna."

Ron then turned to her, and took both of her hands in his. He looked deep into Kim's eyes, took a breath, and said, "Io Voglio dirti che ti amo."

Kim drew her brows together. "Huh…?"

Ron repeated himself. "Io Voglio dirti che ti amo."

"What are you saying Ron?" Kim asked, a little confused. Ron turned away from her again, and looked down at his pocket. "Just what are you looking at…" She tried reaching around him, but he just twisted away.

Only by faking one direction, Kim was then able to reach around the other way and was able to snatch what Ron had in his hands. It looked like a…

"A calculator Ron?" She said, now fully confused.

"No Kim, not quite." He took the small device from her, typed in a few words on the small keyboard, and then turned the display towards her. It was back-lit so she could read the words, and it was scrolling a sentence across the screen. It read… "Io Voglio dirti che ti amo", followed by the words "I just want to tell you that I Love You."

Kim just stood there, flabbergasted. "Oh Ron…"

"I'm sorry Kim… I… I just thought… You know? We're walking on a beach at night, in Italy, with a full moon… and I… wanted to say something romantic." His face screwed up in slight disgust at himself. "I didn't say it wrong, did I?"

Kim's eyes glistened in the moonlight as small tears welled inside, but never fell down her cheek. She bit her lower lip as she looked up at her boyfriend. Her voice was low, and barely audible. "You don't need this to tell me how much you love me. I can see that you do in so many other different ways. The way you look at me, the way you touch me, the way you… kiss me."

Her face had been inching closer to his as she spoke, and after she said the words "kiss me", Ron did just that. They wrapped their arms around each other, and Ron dropped the language conversion unit on the sand. Slowly the two knelt down and ended up lying on the beach, never once breaking lip contact. It was the most romantic make-out session they had ever had.

…x x x x…

The next morning, Ron awoke on the day bed, and looked over at the main bed in their room. They both agreed that this was the best course of action, and they both knew why. After kissing on an Italian beach last night under a full moon, emotions were running rampant, along with a few other chemicals in their bodies and brains.

Kim was facing him lying on her side, covered with just a sheet up under her arms. Her hair was flowing all around her face, and Ron couldn't help but stare at her beauty, and wonder just what in the world this vision of loveliness ever saw in a mug like him. Kim took a deeper breath, and opened her eyes.

Before she could say anything, Ron spoke first. "Buon giorno amore mio." (Good morning, my love)

"Reading the English/Italian dictionary again?" Kim said, raising an eyebrow. "Buon giorno to you as well… Now can we stop with the Italian words Ron? It makes me think too much. I just want to relax this morning on the beach before our ride gets here."

Ron gave her a sad look bordering on a puppy dog pout. Kim acquiesced. "OK… You can say one more phrase, and then were done. OK?"

He quickly typed in a sentence, got the translation, and then said, "Se un… bella!" (You are… beautiful)

"Thanks Ron." Kim said smiling with a hint of red on her cheeks, knowing what he had said. "Are we done now?"

"Si…" With that, Kim threw a pillow at him, smacking her boyfriend in the face. "Now lets get ready for the beach. I'm going to take a quick shower. Are you?"

"Yeah… Hey Rufus? You want to go to the beach with us, or have me call in breakfast for you?"

"Mmm… Breakfast!" He chittered, rubbing his stomach. He would rather eat than be on some dirty ol' beach.

Kim finished her shower, and then Ron quickly took his in about half the time.

…x x x x…

It was mid-morning when they finally made it down to the beach, but they were lucky and it wasn't too crowded. Renting a beach umbrella, the two went down near the water and just laid out, relaxing and enjoying the sun and surf.

Ron had fallen asleep, but then something woke him up. It was a yell for help. He jerked up and saw that Kim was already looking like she was ready for action. Just as they both stood to look around and see who was calling for help, a tall bronze figure in black Speedo's flew past them carrying what looked like a large red bullet. It was the beach Lifeguard.

He jumped into the surf, and was headed for a young boy who was flailing his arms and calling for help. Kim and Ron went down to the edge of the water to see if they could help, but quickly saw that the lifeguard had everything under control. He came walking back to the beach carrying a young boy with the bullet dragging behind him, attached to his wrist.

Kim couldn't help but look at this Lifeguard. He was a little over 6 foot tall, she guessed and short black hair. His eyes were a piercing blue, and his skin was a perfectly bronzed tan. His shoulders were broad, and his muscles were well defined, giving him the classic "V" shape, which tapered down to chiseled 6-pack abs. He wore a tight little Speedo-style swimsuit and it didn't leave much to the imagination. The water glistened on his body as he came out of the surf, and set the boy down on dry sand.

Quickly the lifeguard checked for a pulse, and to see if he was breathing. Slowly he pushed on the boy's stomach, and water immediately came gurgling out of his mouth. The lifeguard then turned the boy on his side, and let him cough the water out of his lungs. He then slowly brought the boy up to a sitting position speaking to him in Italian. The boy nodded, and the lifeguard stood up.

It just so happened that he stood up right next to Kim. "Is there anything I can do to help?" Kim asked after finding her voice.

"That is quite all right Miss… O Mio Dio! (Oh my God)… You are… Kim Possible… Are you not?" Kim blushed as he took her hand and gently kissed the back of it.

"Yes… I am." She unconsciously flipped her hair out of her eyes, and batted her eyelashes.

"It is a pleasure and an honor to meet you." He then turned to Ron, and shook his hand. "And this must be Ronald Stoppable? Am I correct?"

Ron was almost dumbfounded that someone in a different country knew his name. "Yes… Yes I am."

"Oh excuse my manners… My name is Adamo Ginovisi. I am the Lifeguard on this beach "

Kim's eyes seemed to drink in every inch of this… man. She unconsciously bit her lower lip as her eyes continued to gaze upon the individual in front of her. Ron immediately picked up on what Kim was doing, and realized she might be… crushing.

"Well Mr. …" Ron started to say as he took Kim's hand.

"Ginovisi…" The Lifeguard said.

"Yeah… We really should go now. Our ride back to the states should be arriving pretty soon. Let's go KP." Ron dragged his girlfriend behind him as he stomped up the beach towards their hotel.

Finally Kim's senses came back on-line. "Ron? What are you doing?" She disengaged her hand from his.

"I'm getting you away from that… that… Pretty Boy."

"Ron Stoppable… You're not jealous, are you?" Kim said looking up at her boyfriend through her eyelashes.

"Didn't you see what he was doing Kim? He was hitting on you… Right there in front of me! And you continued to look at him like… like a piece of meat. You could have just poured on the A-1." Ron's voice then dropped a bit. "I don't think you've ever looked at **me** that way."

"I was not looking at him that way Ron." Kim said, her defenses starting to come on-line.

Ron then continued on up to the boardwalk that led to the hotel. He spoke to her over his shoulder. "I'm going to get ready for the trip back home. You coming?"

Kim just nodded and trudged along after her boyfriend wondering if she really **had **been looking at Adamo like… a piece of meat.

…x x x x…

The plane flight home was rough. Not as in the plane itself, but the tension between Ron and Kim. Yeah, they were riding first class, but you could almost see the animosity between the two of them. For most of the entire ride, each of them either napped, or read a magazine. Anything to keep from talking to the other.

At one point Rufus tried to get them to say something, but he was immediately shushed. As a result, he spent his time entertaining a 10-year-old girl for most of the flight.

Little did Kim know that Ron was actually planning a way to get back at her for looking at this guy the way she did.

…x x x x…

It had been only a couple days since Kim and Ron had returned from Italy, and she had only talked to him 2, maybe 3 times. He was strangely quiet, and not very talkative whenever they did talk. The only thing that gave her an inkling of what might be going on was after a short conversation on the phone. Ron hadn't quite hung the phone up completely, and Kim thought she heard Ron mumble something like "Not a piece of meat" before he readjusted the receiver and broke the connection.

"Oy… not _that_ again", she thought.

.x x x x…

"You're sure this will make me… bigger?" Ron asked the man behind the counter.

"The women will be throwing themselves on the ground before you." The man with well manicured black hair said. "Just be sure to take these before you go to bed, and let the chemicals do their magic."

"Will I see immediate results?" Ron asked, looking the bottle over.

"It depends on your metabolism. The quicker that is… the quicker the results." Ron smiled at that, knowing that his metabolism was off the scale. He could chow down 2 Nacos for lunch, and then be ready for a mid-afternoon snack by 3:00. The weekend was only a couple days away, so he figured he should see the desired results by then.

His next stop was a tanning parlor that also specialized in other skin and hair augmentation. "So this will be 'Full Body' coverage, right?" Ron asked before stepping into the upright compartment.

"Yes, it will." The young blonde girl said that was assisting him. "The shorts you are wearing will let in a small amount so that you won't be so light in that area. Otherwise the contrast would be too much. Especially with your skin tone."

"And it washes off?" Ron was starting to feel a little nervous at what he was going to do.

"Not all of it will come off the first time, but you should be back to your natural skin tone after 2 or three showers." She said, and gently pushed Ron inside. "Now in you go…"

After about 15 minutes Ron stepped out and was checking himself in a mirror. The salon attendant came up to him. "Looking good. Now you wanted to take care of these on your face, and darken that hair, right?"

"Y… yeah." Ron said nervously.

"Don't worry. I've done this for many clients. Especially the celebrities when they don't want to be recognized in the public. The hair color is temporary also, and it's just a little make-up to cover up those freckles under your eyes." Again she gave him a gentle push, this time towards another section of the store. "Now lets get you shampooed so we can work on the hair…"

…x x x x…

"Where is Ron?" Kim said to herself as she stood on the beach of Middleton Lake checking the Kimmunicator for the time. "He was supposed to meet me 15 minutes ago."

As she continued to scan the area, suddenly her eyes came across someone that she hadn't seen before. _Hmmm… not bad. _Kim shook her head at her thoughts. _I can't be doing that, I'm dating Ron. _A smile crossed her lips. _Then again, it doesn't hurt to look, does it?_

Kim noticed out the corner of her eyes that she wasn't the only girl who noticed this fine hunk of man walking by the water. He had dark slicked-back hair, dark sunglasses, and he had a towel tossed over his shoulder. _I bet this guy only has 3 percent body fat…_ Kim thought absently. Her eyes continued to appreciate the view.

It wasn't until this almost perfect specimen of humanity was a few yards from her that Kim realized that he was coming over to her. She didn't make a move from the cooler and umbrella that were lying on the sand next to her.

He pulled the towel off his shoulder revealing almost perfect pectoral muscles and spoke to her in a heavy Italian accent. "Excuse me… Miss?"

"Umm… Possible. Kim, Kimberly… Possible. But you can call me Kim." She smiled while batting her eyelashes and she unknowingly flipped the hair out of her eyes.

"Kim, Kimberly Possible…" The guy said and gently took her hand, kissing the back of it with a slight smile. "I was wondering if you could help me? I seem to be a little… lost"

"Umm… sure. I'm here to help." She said blushing slightly.

"My… friends seem to have… how do you say… bailed on me, and I am stuck here by myself. I have no way to get to my hotel. I don't suppose you could… assist me?" The man pulled down his sunglasses a bit, revealing striking blue eyes, and gave Kim a wink.

"I'm sorry", Kim started to say, "But I don't know who you are, and you just asked me to take you to your hotel room? I don't even know your name."

"Oh, I am so sorry. It is… " The guy seemed to actually be thinking about his name. Guido… Guido Sarduchi."

"Well… umm… Guido…I'm sorry, but I'm kind of waiting for someone."

"And that someone … could it be someone like… me?" He gave a smile that Kim almost recognized, but wasn't quite sure. "I saw you checking me out on the beach, and I thought you would be able to help me. After all, you are Kim Possible, no? I thought you helped those in need."

Kim suddenly had a thought… _If he had to ask for my name, how is it that he knows I help people… Something's not quite right here._ She quickly scrutinized this… Guido's face, and thought she saw… makeup?

"I really should wait for Ron…" Kim started to say, but was again interrupted.

"What kind of man is this Ron, if he leaves a lovely young lady like yourself waiting for him?" Guido was now holding the towel in front himself waist high with both hands. The motion wasn't lost on Kim, and she glanced down feigning something in her eye.

She thought she saw something… _Did something just… move… in the towel?_

"I'm sorry… I must have some sand, or something in my eye." Again Kim dropped her gaze and acted like she was rubbing at one of her eyes. The second time she definitely saw some thing move inside… or behind… the towel. She thought she saw something pink between the folds, and Kim audibly gasped.

All of a sudden something else… poked out of the towel. It looked like… a little pink foot? Things suddenly all fell together. The smile, the makeup… _And I swear that's hair color that's running down his forehead._ And now she knew what, or who… was in the towel this guy was holding in front of him.

_Ron, you are so busted_. Kim thought, and decided to play along and see just how far he was willing to go with this.

"Here…" Guido/Ron said, "Let me see." He stepped up to Kim, gently titled her head back, and peered directly into the eye that she had been "rubbing" earlier.

"Aha… I see something." He said, still looking into her eye. "I see… a beautiful green eye."

Kim dropped her head, looked through her eyelashes, and lay a hand on her chest. "Why… Thank-you. You think I have beautiful eyes?"

Guido/Ron nodded. "You are a… beautiful woman."

_Boy, Ron's really laying it on thick._ Kim thought._ Let's see how he reacts to this…_

Taking his hand, Kim said, "You know what Guido? My boyfriend, Ron? Since he's not here… and he's probably off stuffing his face with a Naco… I'll take you to your hotel room. OK?" Kim flashed a genuine smile when she saw the slight twitch under Ron/Guido's left eye. _Oh yeah… this is Ron all right._

Kim led Ron/Guido to her car, and pressed the alarm, making it go _Beep Beep Be Deep_. She got in behind the wheel and saw Ron/Guido still standing outside the car. Hiding her smile, Kim rolled down the passenger window and called out.

"You coming Guido? I thought you needed a ride?" Ron/Guido subconsciously rubbed the back of his neck. A true Ronnerism. He opened the door and looked at Kim out the side of his sunglasses.

Suddenly it got dark in the car, and Ron/Guido looked over at Kim who gave him an almost devilish smile. "Electronically tinted windows. I thought we could use some privacy."

Kim leaned over the center console and gently lay a hand on his bare upper thigh. "I've wanted to get you alone ever since I first saw you, Guido. I feel a… chemistry… between us. Don't you?"

She leaned closer, and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek. Kim didn't see Ron/Guido's hands suddenly clench around the towel that he was still carrying, but she heard the resulting yelp/squeak.

Kim lowered her voice to a sultry level and whispered into his ear. "Is that a Mole Rat in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?"

Ron/Guido was now sweating like crazy, the dye in his hair running down his cheeks. He couldn't take it anymore. Without warning Ron let go of the towel, releasing a relieved Rufus who scampered into the back seat. He yanked the sunglasses off, and Kim saw his blue eyes suddenly change back to his normal brown.

"Kim! What are you doing? It's me, Ron!" He almost screamed.

Kim feigned surprise. "Ron? You mean… Ron, as in my boyfriend Ron, and not Guido, the killer pimp?" She smacked him on the back of his head, and winced when some of the dye came off on her hand. She grabbed a corner of the towel Ron had and quickly wiped it off. "I knew it was you all the time Ron… Well, most of the time."

She looked into the back seat and saw Rufus sitting there with his paws over his eyes. "Uh oh… busted." He squeaked.

"Wait a minute…" Ron said as he took the towel and started to wipe the black dye from his hair, revealing his blond locks. "When did you realize it was me?"

"When I was rubbing the 'sand' out of my eye." She said. I saw Rufus' little paw sticking out of your towel.

"So up until that point you didn't know it was me?"

"Yeah…" Kim responded, knowing where her boyfriend might be going with this.

"So you **were **checking me out before you knew who I was!" Ron said triumphantly. "I _knew _it! Kim Possible, you are so busted."

"Um… excuse me Ron Stoppable… but it's YOU who is sooo busted. Just what were you thinking? Didn't you think I would see through your disguise?

"Ah, but Kim…" Ron responded with a raised finger, "You didn't realize it was me until you saw Rufus, right?"

Kim lowered her gaze, and sighed in her minor defeat. "Right…" She then raised her face, her eyes blazing. "But you tricked me! You were walking down the beach, looking so… fine! I couldn't help but… look."

"And when I walked up in front of you, you were flirting with me Kim." He said. "And that was _before_ Rufus made his… impromptu appearance." Ron shot a look at his little buddy in the back seat.

"Sorry…" The little guy responded.

"I would like to know just how far you would have gone if you didn't know who I really was…" Ron said looking at Kim with an almost sad look.

"Oh Ron… I would have figured it out sooner or later." She said. "Besides… You do know that I would never get _near_ this far with someone I didn't know… right?"

Ron looked at her from the corner of his eyes. "I'm not so sure Kim. You were really flirting with Guido there for a while."

"I was not…" She paused. "Was I?"

"Yup… Wasn't she little buddy?" Ron turned to look at his Naked Mole Rat.

"On your own…" He squeaked and crossed his fore-legs, like little arms.

"You know… The batting of the eye lashes, the flip of the hair? You did that to Adamo in Italy. I saw it."

"I really do that?" Kim said with a look of being admonished. "I'm… sorry Ron. I didn't realize."

"Kind of like I didn't realize I was looking at those girls on the beach the way I did." Ron said with a small look of victory on his face. "It's… almost involuntary."

The two just sat there in the car with their own thoughts for a few seconds, then Kim spoke first. "OK Ron… I think we can have an agreement here. We can look… but we can't touch. Agreed?"

"Wait a minute here… You're saying we can look at other people… Without recriminations?" Kim gave him a look. "What? I can use big words when I need to."

Kim's mouth started to quirk, and she tried to keep from laughing. She snickered a bit, and then finally it turned in to a full-bellied laugh. At first Ron didn't get it, then just because it was infectious, he started to laugh too. It started to taper off, and then suddenly Ron stopped.

"Wait… why are we laughing?"

Just the fact that you did all…" She indicated his darkly tanned body, "this… just to get back at me. That's not even a real tan, is it?"

"No…" He said after chuckling.

"But what I want to know, is how did you get ripped so quick? I mean… you look like you half starved yourself and ran like… 15 miles a day. And what have you got in your trunks? That can't be… real? Can it?"

A small smile creased Ron's face and patted his chiseled stomach. "This… is from Ultra Fat Burner. With my metabolism, it didn't take long to make a difference. The only thing is… I'm starving now! Now let's go home."

Kim didn't make a move as she continued to look at him. "What…? Are we going or not?"

"You didn't answer my other question." Kim said and nodded her head down a bit.

"Wh… what do you mean?"

"Is it a sock?" Kim asked. "Or is it… something else?" Kim smirked again.

"It's… nothing." Ron said barely loud enough for her to hear as he dropped his head.

"C'mon Ron… I want to know what you've got in your… pants…" She started to pull the towel that he was now holding across his lap, which was stained black from his hair dye. A look of fear crossed his features, and he clung on to the towel for dear life.

"I said it's nothing. Really!" By now they were having a mini tug-of-war in the car with the towel. Finally Kim yanked hard enough to pull it out of his grip. Ron quickly covered himself with his hands.

"What is going on Ron?" Kim asked as she saw Ron's cheeks turn a burning red.

"It's… me." He said.

"You mean…?" Kim said, and sudden realization crossed her features. She covered her mouth with a hand and gasped.

"Yeah… It's all me." He pulled the towel from her loose grip and placed it over his lap again. "Now you know why I always wear boxer shorts… I don't suppose you have an extra pair of pants in here for me? I feel like I'm getting a massive wedgie sitting here!"

Kim laughed and stepped out of the car. She went to the trunk and pulled out an extra pair of Ron's Cargo's that she always had "just in case". She tossed them through her open door onto Ron's lap, and then closed the car door so he had some privacy. The windows were still dark so no one could see in.

"OK, I'm decent!" Ron called out, and Kim opened the door returning the windows back to normal. Ron sat there without a shirt, but he had the pants on.

"You hungry?" She asked, and Ron nodded. This also brought Rufus out of the comfort of the back seat. "I've got some sandwiches and soda in the cooler. Let's enjoy the sun and have some lunch."

Ron got out of the car and Kim closed her door, not seeing the Speedo trunks lying on the front floor of the car. She never realized for the rest of that afternoon that Ron was running around… Commando-Style.

The end…

* * *

Well, I hope y'all enjoyed the second half of this little tale. I just realized that this has been the longest chapter I've ever written… Almost 4800 words… Huh…

Laters!


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